It looks like some people are gettin' real nervous down south. Donnie TACO is tightenin' the screws on that border, makin' sure only the best and brightest are comin' in to eat all our tacos. We gotta keep America great, and that means keepin' out the illegals. They're stealin' jobs and we can't have that. It's all about safety, folks. Donnie TA

In a shocking/escalating/unexpected turn of events, Iranian/Persian/Tehranian forces launched/conducted/executed an air strike on/against/targeting US/American/Western positions in the/a/an volatile/delicate/sensitive region of Iraq/Syria/Afghanistan. This act of aggression has prompted a swift retaliation/response/countermeasure from the United St